Rock 'n' roll
From Cheesypedia
rock 'n' roll is arguably the greatest bullborder of all time.
Contents |
History
Birth
Born in the midst of a momentous and well documented bear attack May 3rd, 1784, he tore his way out of the womb with a machete. From here, he set full charge towards the bears. The bystanders had no idea what they were seeing. The child mauled a vicious pack of bears with his hands and teeth in an epic slow motion sequence. He had saved the world and was rewarded with 80 virgin blowjobs. It was calculated that 80 blowjobs from virgins that had never given a blowjob before equaled 1 really really awesome blowjob.
Adolescence
These years were nothing that notable. Except for that time he had to kill all of the South. He also was a fatty nerdy that could tell you all of the presidents and their wives.
Preteen Years
This is a filler section
Teen Years
He hit puberty and grew to the sexy being that he is. His genitalia grew at an exponential rate, his hair grew long and amazing, and developed a penchant for kitten huffing. It was during this time he started to get heavily into music. He took up bass and guitar. It was also during this time that he got his 81st blowjob. He was listed it the Farmer's Almanac as the greatest bass player ever. He also created the original online bulletin board/forum. This was over a century before the Internet was created. He hung a picture of the greek forum on a cork board, which was then hung on a clothes line.
20th Century
During this time, he helped shaped the world to what it is today. That is the good stuff about the world. He is the muse for all music (that doesn't suck). John Cage actually wrote his famous 4'33" about him. You see, April is the 4th month of the year, and if you and the first three days of May to April, May 3rd is actually April 33rd. He is also the founder of all modern music as we know it. He farted back in 1912 which made the most beautiful sound. All that were around to hear it became composers and composed their interpretations of his fart into vast concertos. He also made noise music.
Death and Resurrection
On March 23rd, 1989, he was hanging out with some of his friends, when the Russian Mafia kidnapped him. They had thought John Maglio, who was actually a relative of his, but yeah, the Sicilian and Russian Mafia had close ties up until 3 months prior, when the Sicilian Mafia won a game of Go Fish against the Russians. For this, they had to pay. John was last on the list, so they kidnapped the work person. The next day, rock 'n' roll was found being eaten alive by a Russian Bear who had been trained to kill anything. Many people thought he would be born again on Sunday, but at last, he didn't. Everyone gave up hope and gave him a funeral and wake. Fortunately on May 3rd, 1989, the anniversary of his 205th year, he finally resurrected from the dead in the form of a baby.
Current Affairs
He had a girlfriend once. He also has some music projects going for him. He likes to see shows at Six Flags Great America in his hometown of Milwaukee, Wisconsin and he hates the sand in his vagina.
Related Debris
Contributions to The Bullboard
He runs the Bullboard Music Exchange, which happens on a randomly annual basis. He also is the administrator of the Bullboard Gayspace Group and contributed greatly to the FAQ's on the Bullboard.
Gay Ass Muncher #69
Created back on the Dick Rush board one random day, rock 'n' roll got pissed at one of the people that posted as Some Primus Fan and said that they should post as "gay ass muncher #69". From that day until the end of the Dick Rush board in July of 2005, gay ass muncher #69 would haunt rock 'n' roll from occasion to occasion.
This Whole Article Is A Lie
rock 'n' roll is an asshole.[1] You can show your hate for him there or at his gayspace.[2]
